Twins: the best thing I never knew I wanted

When I first learned I was having twins, I cried. And as awful as it sounds, they weren’t happy tears.
It’s not that I didn’t want a baby. It’s that the thought of having to feed and water two babies at the same time terrified me. I wasn’t sure I was capable, and I had a lot of self-doubt. It took me a few weeks before I could even look at that first ultrasound image they sent home with me.
Somewhere along the way, I changed my outlook. Once I was able to get my head around it all and realize that I was actually getting a double blessing – something I shouldn’t take for granted - I started to embrace the path ahead of me.
Today, I can’t imagine it any other way. How could there be a Graham without a Grayson or a Grayson without a Graham? Granted, it’s not easy. But as everyone knows, the best things in life rarely are. Slowly but surely, I’m navigating my way through twin parenthood. And I’m finding a lot of great things along the way. So in the spirit of being thankful, I want to share some of the things I’ve come to love about twins:
  • Built-in playmates for life. The fact that they’re both the same sex helps. So while it may have been more difficult the first half of their life to juggle two babies, we’re now entering the stage where they can entertain each other. You have no idea how amazing it is to see them interact. They can make each other smile when no one else can. Sometimes they just sit there and laugh at each other, like they’ve got a joke no one else is in on. They probably do.
  • Another great thing – and I realize how bizarre this sounds – is that I basically get two kids for the price of one. Scratch that. I don’t want to give the impression that having twins is somehow cheaper, because it most certainly is not. What I mean is that all of the crappy stuff that comes along with having kids – morning sickness, childbirth, sleepless nights, teething – I only have to go through once, yet I get two kids out of the deal. Likewise, if we decide to have another baby (assuming it’s not twins again … not even a funny thing to joke with me about, by the way), I’ll get three kids but will only have to deal with the bad stuff twice. Not to mention the fact that taking care of one baby at a time will seem like a piece of cake.
  • Sharing clothes. Love that they can share clothes. It doesn’t mean that we’ve bought fewer of them, of course. But it’s nice to be able to mix and match.
  • Twin discounts. Several stores have them. Need I say more?
  • The twin club. There aren’t a lot of people who can say they know and understand the experience of twins – the good and the bad - and those who are part of this twin club stick together. I’ve mentioned this once before, but was reminded of it again on Thanksgiving. We were on our way out of the restaurant (I’m not much of a cook) when a couple, probably in their 50s or 60s, stopped us to remark on our little family. They, too, were parents to twin boys now 28 years old and spending the holiday elsewhere. They had been watching us at our table as we tended to the boys – their first time in restaurant high chairs, so we were a little obsessive about their every move – and as we got them bundled up to go back home – a treacherous process by the way. For this couple, the scene brought back sweet memories of a life gone by too fast. So after giving us a few twin tips and exchanging some stories, they reminded us how lucky we were to have these sweet little boys. We hear that a lot, but something about these people was so sincere.  Every now and then, it’s good to be reminded in this way. We are very, very lucky.

One thought on “Twins: the best thing I never knew I wanted

  1. Mary Jo- I was surfing the internet for posts out there about people who have twins and go the minivan route. I came across your site and read this post.

    Ohhhh… I can relate, especially to your opening sentiments about when a twin mom first learns she’s having twins. It’s not the “care bears and rainbows” experience people like to imagine it to be. When I’d try to communicate how hard it was to swallow that moment, a lot of people would look at me like I was crazy… why wasn’t I over the moon at that moment? Only another twin mom can understand.

    I live in a small Colorado town and we don’t have a twins club here. I’ve been so overwhelmed this past year (Finn and Isabella are now 15 months) that I haven’t reached out much to meet other twin parents. The hard part is seeming to fade, though, and I suspect I’ll be out there rubbing elbows with other twin families soon. Anyway, I loved your post… it’s honest and true. Twin moms are a special breed and our experience is unique. While our experience is harder than the typical one baby scenario, we are definitely blessed. :-)

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